Thursday, 20 August 2015

7 things you should know about your GCSE results

1. Unless your results have hindered you from progressing to the next stage of your education, you don't get the trophy for worst results day ever. (That's reserved for the retakers, bless their sullen hearts).

2. That said, news just in, a long line of bad grades isn't good. It's no use trying to make yourself feel better, if you haven't put in enough effort, that sinking realisation is going to kick you down for a couple of days. And so it damn should, you slacker.

3. You can drop one bad grade. Most people have one not-so-good subject. My French grade dug an ugly little hole in my little line of results, (sacré bleu!) but there's no need to sweat it. As far as my CV is concerned, I didn't even do a French GCSE. Sorted.

4. If you have done badly, use it as motivation. Oh you want to breeze through your A Levels? Not going to happen my over optimistic friend. If you've scraped enough to get you into sixth form you better get studying now to make sure this doesn't happen when there are higher stakes at hand. Are you listening?!*

5. If you're one of those students with straight A's and one B, no one is going to have any sympathy. Which is annoying, because that one B does make a frustrating little dent. But there is 0 point mentioning it because only your fellow child genius friends will understand. Go moan to them about it.

6. Try not to get yourself into that situation where people ask what you got and you proclaim your undying dismay only to find out they did much worse than you. And even worse, don't try to tell them 'that's not so bad' after you've publicly shamed your own results. Just give them a knowing nod.

7. If your results aren't great, work harder. And if your results were great, work harder anyway because A Levels will suck the life from you like a soul thirsty Dementor.

*Fun fact, I once said this to a primary school teacher and she made me stand up and screamed at me for 15 minutes


Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Since we're talking about #GOALS, here are mine

#BoyfriendGoals  #MakeUpGoals  #WardrobeGoals  #FriendshipGoals  #HairGoals  #ContourGoals #FaceGoals  #BodyGoals

...just a quick scoop of some of the ones I've seen.

Anyway, yawn. Here are some actual #GOALS that get me out of bed in the morning.

#1 Owning your own house that you have paid off with money that you've made.

#2 Writing something great and seeing it printed in a publication that you have respect for. Walking along holding the copy in your hand knowing your words have made up some part of it and feeling awesome about it.

#3 Treating your whole family to a fancy dinner because it's someone's birthday and you knew they'd love it here.

#4 Introducing yourself at a networking event and watching a flicker of familiarity in their eyes when you explain the work you've produced

#5 Having the intern flinch when you walk in the room because you're wearing heels bigger than his head but flashing him a quick smile so he knows you're not an insane Devil Wears Prada type of boss.

#6 Making it through that night you had to stay up to finish a project before finally collapsing into bed at 5pm the next day

#7 Learning to speak another language because you have Fridays off now and you've always wanted to do that

#8 Walking into Burberry and finally, finally, buying that smart coat 18 year old you lusted after

#9 Getting your keys to a car that doesn't splutter and cough

#10 Zipping up your boots as you get ready for work and kind of clipping your heels together when they're done because you're still 12 at heart and, now you come to think of it, it's kind of funny you work in such a big place.

#11 Working so hard in the gym the body builder guys are intimidated

#12 Having the luxury of picking anywhere you want to eat on date night and pulling on your Burberry coat as you go out the door.

There's nothing wrong with coveting make up or wanting your hair as long as the girls on Pinterest, but if you're planning on pushing through a career, you're going to need something a little stronger to pull you through.

Monday, 17 August 2015

#BloggerBlackmail: What happened and who was in the wrong?

Things kicked off when a blogger arrived at a bakery (after being invited) only to be given less free samples than she expected. The bakery in question wrote about it here and the blogger responded here.

Okay now we're all up to speed.

I'll get straight to the point. Bloggers get offended when brands don't understand that they operate as a business. We all know this. So this girl talks about how she was expecting her review to equate to around 8 hours of work she, quite rightly, wanted to make sure it was worth her time.

But what happened to behaving like a business when a proposition doesn't meet your needs?

If you owned a car manufacturer and you were invited to a tire supplier, only to realise they were charging too much, would you kick up a fuss or would you politely explain your business requirements and be on your merry way?

This is business. And in business you weigh up your cost/benefit analysis and make an informed decision. The blogger had every right to do this, but so did the bakery.

£100 worth of goods? Well, fine, so long as the bakery thinks the blogger is established enough to generate business for them. It only makes financial sense for a company to invest in a blogger if they are going to make a return on their investment.

And that's what it is, it's an investment. Okay so it's sometimes about PR and how the public view the brand but often it's about the simple business question - will this make us a profit? In the case of Bakery Gate, the answer was no.

Was the blogger wrong to have calculated her cost/benefit analysis? No. But neither was the bakery.

This whole thing became a problem when the blogger took to Instagram to slate the macarons.

I understand that she 'saw red' and I can sympathise with that. But really I see no argument here - by admitting you 'saw red' and reacted accordingly you are admitting that you have no behaved in a professional manner and therefore in this case, are accepting the blame for the situation. 

Which I think is the right thing to do.

Had the blogger politely explained her expectations and respectfully declined the offer, none of this would be happening. That said, she seems to have taken on the majority of the blame for posting those photos which is the most respectful way to correct the situations.

I'm not a fan of witch hunts, so I'm not going to personally attack the girl in question, but at least now we know how to avoid a mess like this in the future -

If you want to be treated like a business, you need to act like one. And you can't get offended when the brands you approach do the same.
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